Adam's Beanstalk

A daily adventure-bag of insights and old bones from an unknown poet in Manitoba's south. Caveat: Not everything is to be taken literally. Things are often shaded with poetic crayons; be the owl. Also, not all these bones are collected from different fields. Find themes that run througout each post and the journal as a whole; the most insignificant event may be part of an ear.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Sunday, Saturday, Friday, Thursday

So I went fishing today in our little pond in our little paddle boat loaded down with dad and Shane and Jimi and all our fishing equipment. Not so little. And also not so little was the chunky catfish I caught. 4 pounds by our Kroeker Mental Weight Scale System we just implemented. It was a perfect evening for doing just this. And a nice afternoon. I read some Kant on the back deck, and also with my back against a stone in the front yard. Ohh... and I did some writing down on the dock. I must try harder to get in more writing time like this.

Yesterday it was beautifully hot in the morning, and Jimi and I decided to set up a capture the flag game with Super Soakers and napkins as flags. Then we laughed because it started raining, and we couldn't tell if we were getting hit by rain or by the guns. We sat on the dike when the drizzle let up and heard some huge time thunder. Then there was a storm of lightning - about ten bolts simultaneously! I laugh again at the good luck I am having lightning watching this year.

Friday was the Rosenort School graduation. I realized from my city friends that most graduations are attended only by close family members. Not so in Rosenort - the whole town and more was out - the gym was so full a few had to stand. The backdrop was a quaint european courtyard, and the chairs stood out - garden wrought iron variety but all unique. The graduating girls also sported some of the best dresses I have seen at a grad. After the longish ceremony I started my trek of party hopping, stopping in at 6 grad's places in total to load up on snacks and sign guestbooks. Each party also saw a few minutes of good conversation with divers folk. And then the big aftergrad party at a barn on the Meridian Road. The dance music was pumping the whole night long (which unfortunately meant yelling for all conversations) which gave Chelsea and I the chance to show off our line dance skills we picked up at Somewhere Else West. Meanwhile, Paul Gregoire was busy working his slightly different skills with another group of line dancers - unfortunately it seems our lines intersected, for once every 4 bars we would bump hips or kick each other accidentally! There was a dog that could fetch an individual piece of gravel when thrown on a gravel road in the dark! We also roasted an apple.

Some Thoughts:
Who brings fruit to a dance?

Who arranges it that EVERY PERSON must get driven home from a party when nobody has been drinking except the chaperones - WHO ARE DRIVING THE PEOPLE HOME!!!!

Friday was also the Westfield BBQ - we had a meal by Danny's Whole Hog (say it with an accent) and got a preview of the new self propelled auger. Took about two hours off of the day. We got caps as well. On a sad note, high school friend and fellow assembler Joey has been moved to the bolt bagging department. Thanks for the memories, Joe.

Thursday we have house church at Konrad's house. Things of Note:
1) I walk across Academy Road holding a guitar
2) Konrad's dad has a constant art show going in the house
3) We studied the book of Jude. Makes for a good time.
4) Robin's Donuts and Yerba Mate brewed through a coffee machine!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Mystery in the Apartment!

Somebody has painted our apartment while we were out for work.

Everything is white.

This is not a joke.

I will let our conversation say all.

Travis says: Adam, you realise this means someone entered our apartmnet (locked) and started painting it while we were at work?

Adam says: inside our apartment?! [Pause] Maybe it was a paint monkey! [Pause] Or... yuppies!

Travis says: The paint monkey appears to drink tim hortons double doubles

Adam says: was anything missing?

Travis says: doesn't seem to be. Aside from the paint job the only things noticeably different are:
1)the tim hortons cup left on the mantle
2)the toilet lid was up
3)there's some sort of paint in the sink
4?)and the battery on the cordless is low, though that could be because it sucks

Adam says: maybe it was dorchester doing an anti-color campaign

Travis says: I'm thinking the caretakers had to be involved somehow because the door was locked when I got home. I'm going to try calling them again

Adam says: this is too wierd

Travis says: still no answer. Yes, it is rather strange. [Pause] Another possibility, though slim, is that this is the work of Jenna and Zoe.
Zoe still had a set of keys in her possession when she left, and though I doubt they'd do something like this, perhaps the schemed it

Adam says:
but no! it couldn't be! [Pause]
they would not have left the toilet up!
what skills of induction i possess!

Travis says:
the toilet lid, not the toilet seat

Adam says:

Travis says:
do you know if Jenna like Timmy Ho's Double double?

Adam says:
good question. i'm not sure, but it is our chief clue. [Pause]
or is it... a RED HERRING!?

Adam says:
we must tread carefully.

Travis says:


Once there was a boy, and he was made from earth, and when he sneezed little clumps of him shook off. This is my story.

I am a boy.

I am made
from earth.

"Hello there!"
(It is nice to meet you).

This boy/I/me works at a factory all day long. He gets up quite early, but it doesn't seem so early because the sun is up, and that makes things much better.

He puts earplugs in.

And grabs a hammer, and maybe six 3/8 x 1 bolts. When all is done, there is a creation. A baby hopper! He was made, and he has made!

All from the earth.

After he takes his earplugs out, the world gets much louder. He can hear the "sshh, sshh of his gloves when he rubs them together. And he can hear birds - oh the meadowlark song!

There's a Door in that Puddle!

Then he is home, but not for long. He is known to practice his mandolin skills in the hopes of busking. He treks off to the emerald city to lead a book study on the Pilgrim's Progress. But nobody else comes, and there is much (or little) wailing. The emerald city is not made of earth. [So a game on boards with little cutout mechs is played.]. He goes to more campfires, to keep his friend occupied while his wife is a pampered chef. There is much hockey to be watched. And there are tree houses to climb, and Indiana Jones to be seen. (You do belong in a museum!). And we see Melissa dressed up with great headgear to avoid ticks. And there are talks of Baby Jesus clothed in swaddling paper mache (MADE) and two trout named Frank and Lazarus.


Two Trout Named Frank and Lazarus.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

12 Things that Made this Last Week Bad

I called this post "12 things that made this last week bad". I did this merely to grab your attention, because you have demented intentions and really want to only find out bad news. Well, the fact is that there is no bad news. In fact, this last week was supercalifragilisticexpial and idocious all in once. I did not check the spelling on that, because one of the things that made last week not bad, but good, is that I spelled this word correctly to Shane without looking. And without writing it on a piece of paper. This makes it much harder. Do you know that when my sister Tanya tries to spell a word she will write letters in the air? - if she makes a mistake she erases the letters with an invisible chalk brush! Oh yes, why my week was good:

1)Good walks along the Red River in Winnipeg, and downtown to pay the rent. Made very funny because of the hundreds of green worms hanging from trees on their silver strings. They are marionettes, and there may be a man hiding among the leaves! The lady behind the desk gave me a pen that got ink all over my hands. (Is this bad?) I love seeing people lounge around outdoors in the city, and was crazy to bump into Rachel. (This IS Bad: I realized I run into far too few people in the city like this).

2)Relaxed to some good sports on TV. Hooray for the Oilers! Boo Buffalo! And a lot of Blue Jays.

3)A freaking hilarious MSN conversation trying to convince Melissa that people should NOT lay eggs. But she convinced Chelsea and I (I think...) that ticks should be baseball sized.

4)Watching Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe at Blaine's parent's place. Oh the memories!

5)Getting together at 6:25 - what the random! - to eat breakfast with Cody and Tracy in her sunroom. It took a gonzo-shaped pancake to convince me to come.

6)Having a sweet campfire at Jason's parent's - hooray for parents! - and feeding his dog lots of pretzels. Then we went inside to eat pink stuff and talk to Rick and Ale and Harold and Margaret.

7)The Riverside Tractor Show - there was rain at first as always, but then I got some clear coffee and the rain cleared up. Then "The Races of Riverside" started. Chase made a poem with that name last year. Pylons were set up and garden tractors did timed heats. Chase flew through the course with the Viking. Even though he was penalized two seconds for hitting a pylon, he STILL had the fastest time. Good work.

8)Getting a job! I went to Westfield for an interview and tour on Monday. Even though assembly is not a glamourous job, I have done it before. However, I wanted to stall to see if I could find a better job in the city before I told them what my plans were on Friday morning. My chance came when I heard on the answering machine an interview opportunity for a sweet job at Nav Canada (doing airline admin work). So I called and scheduled an interview for Thursday. But I thought it over. I wouldn't know if I got this Nav Canada job until Monday, in which case I would have to betray Westfield. I called Nav Canada to cancel the interview. =^(. I start work at Westfield on Monday.
So - if anybody needs a place in the city to stay for summer, drop me a line, as my fully furnished room will be empty.

9)College and Career where we played volleyball outside of Chad's house, and yelled when the ball rolled into the ravine. Every time. Then we had a good Bible study about Christian offense and defense. You can tell Kevin made it. Then we through defense out the window and drove to the city for a 10:30 showing of X-Men 3. I thought it was easily as good as X-Men 2, which says a lot, because I loved that movie. I heard from Travis that he didn't like it. But then again Travis may be the worst movie critic ever (didn't like Lord of the Rings). I give it 3 and a half stars ***1/2. Brilliant special effects (the bridge scene, wow! and the house! yes!), unique characters, intense action, a good plot, and difficult ethical issues raised (my favorite part of the X-men series). However, did not make much attempt at deeper symbolisms, or produce any real-world allusions(only a few rare moments when over chess, and maybe the Golden Gate "bridge"/relationships between mutants and humans "bridge), and was not in any way innovative.

10)Grandma and Grandpa's 50th wedding anniversary this afternoon. It was special to play songs with them and see how they have touched those around them. They are also models for what a great marriage should be. And I love that there are still these moments of cute romance between them, like when they sang a duet. Unfortunately, the funniest moment came during a speech by great uncle Eldon - which was in Low German. Everybody who understood was killing themselves laughing. I could only laugh at the amount they were laughing. And that says something.

11)Playing a game of horseshoes and croquet and later poker at Alwin and Annettes. Jason rigged up a super croquet course (not as tidy as mine, of course) with tunnels and ramps and terraces, and it was good. I dropped the dog on its head.

12)Seeing nature's awesomeness - first on Saturday morning, 11:30. I was down by the pond watching the yellow carp jump. There is thunder rumbling all around. Suddenly I see a bolt of lightning shoot horizontally north across the sky - then one bolt straight south. THEN from the centre I see a SPIRAL OF LIGHTNING, and more bolts burst in all directions. My mouth dropped open.
Fast forward to next Friday after the croquet at the Eidse's. We are sitting around a campfire playing mandolin and guitar. All of the sudden Cody exclaims "What is that?". I look into the eastern sky of night and there I do behold a beam of blue light brighter than any I have seen, seemingly passing just above the trees. And from it is shooting flames of white and gold! It passes so slowly across the heavens that I have time to jump out of my chair and yell "YOU ARE KIDDING!". A shooting star, tin through the air, and I am rocked.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

All I need is a Fork and some Bacon

It read:

Calling All Buskers!
Busker's Festival at the Forks
May 27 & 28

And so I thought, "I can do this!"
I talked to Cody and we planned to take a two man group to the auditions, I playing mandolin, he, guitar.
We were going to practice Friday night, one day before the Festival.
No problem.
We will practice, show up, wait for an audition spot, and hopefully get at least a "B Pass" that will allow us to play outdoors.
Thursday rolls around. I told you I wasn't done with it yet. We are getting excited to take our as of yet unrehearsed show to the world. I take another look at the advertisment. Yes, yes...
Calling All Buskers!

...blah, blah, blah.
But then I read below.
Call 555-9258 before 4:00PM on May 19 to schedule your audition.

May 19 was last week.
I kick myself for not reading this.
I anticipate getting hit over the head with a guitar.
Then, in a moment of inspiration, I decide to call in to see what strings I could pull.
"Hello", I say "Do you happen to have any more audition slots available?"
No. Sorry. We are packed full. I'll add your name to the waiting list."

The waiting list.
Probably longer than the green mile.
I begin to formulate an excuse I can tell to Cody.
"Uhh... they said they only allow solo acts or groups of over three people"... no... that wasn't going to work.
So I wait. Good thing we didn't practice early!

But something odd happens.
I get a call.
A slot has opened up for 5:10PM on Saturday!
Totally a God thing!

So I go home. We practice past midnight. Saturday we are ready to take on the world.

We walk out of the audition having performed a pretty dolled up version of "You Are My Sunshine", winning the hearts of the octogenarian audience and the votes of the all-female panel of judges. This grants us an "A Pass" and an immediate offer to play during the Kids Fringe Festival. We have a hearty meal at the Old Spaghetti Factory to celebrate.

Watch out people - we are going to take your money!